AS IF YOU NEVER LEFT ME

From Ellora's Cave

Joely hasn't seen Rey since she walked out on him over a year ago. Now he's shown up in her new studio in Colorado, and he has a proposal for her.

With her heart in her mouth, Joely stepped through the front door of the Elk Valley Diner. She paused, taking a deep breath of the too-smoky air. She’d spent many a lunch break here—the nachos were excellent. It was familiar territory, at least, making her feel less nervous about the impending confrontation with Rey. What could he say to her after all this time? Why had he even come?

Of course, she wouldn’t get the answers to these questions until she actually spoke to him. Fighting the urge to turn around and run, she continued into the restaurant.

Rey sat at the bar, sipping a beer. In a chambray shirt and jeans, he looked more like he belonged in Colorado, rather than in a posh New York City boutique. A shock of brown hair fell down over his forehead as he made notations in an electronic organizer. Long, graceful fingers wielded the stylus and Joely found her attention captured in their movement. Those hands could work magic when he put his mind to it, and she could remember the exact sensations, how they felt sliding over her skin, cupping a breast, sliding inside her.

Her attention drifted down lanky, jeans-clad legs to the comfortable-looking hiking booksboots on his big feet. The jeans were snug but not too tight, displaying each line of his muscled legs and buttocks to perfection. And the feet—although the feet inside the boots were typical knobby man-feet, she had reason to know he lived up to the old wives' tale about the size of a man's feet.

A long, tall drink of water, indeed. She’d forgotten how damn pretty he was. She'd forgotten how much she always wanted him when she saw him. The way he made her breath go shallow and her heart speed up. The way her body opened, ready to take him in.

Gathering herself yet again, she perched on the stool next to him and he looked up, giving her that smile. The one that rendered useless all efforts to calm herself. “Hi.” He paused. “So what’s the verdict?”

“I don’t have the papers.”

His face softened with relief, and only then did she realize it had carried the tension of uncertainty. She laid her hand on his, let herself feel the warmth of his skin.

“Why am I here? What do you want to talk to me about?”

“I want a second chance.”

She could only stare at him. “I gave you a second chance. And a third chance. A fourth, even. You refused to change anything.”

“I know.”

His soft admission surprised her. She leaned against the bar. The support helped a little. She felt like her whole world had turned sideways, and if she didn’t hold on tight to something, she might fall off.

“I screwed up, Joely. I know that now and I knew it then. I was stubborn and stupid, and I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me.” His eyes on hers were soft and sincere. “I want a second chance.”

She shook her head, fighting the thickening that had begun in her throat. “I can’t go through that again, Rey.”

He looked down into the amber of his beer. “I know. I know I have no right to ask. But I’m asking anyway.”

Behind them, a waiter called Rey’s name, announcing the availability of a table for two. He picked up his beer and slid off the barstool.

“I’d rather discuss this at the table, anyway,” he said. “It’ll be more private.”

“Yes, I suppose it will.”

She followed him, using the opportunity to compose her thoughts. The tears hadn't quite gotten underway, but she blinked a few times to be sure they wouldn't plague her. The last thing she needed right now was to break down.
Exactly what kind of second chance was he after? That was the big question. If he thought she was going to pack up and head back to New York with him, he was sadly mistaken.

The waiter settled them in a cozy corner booth that afforded more privacy than she’d expected. That was good. Whatever Rey had to say, they could hash it out here. She didn’t want the awkwardness of having him in her house, where it would be too intimate. The booth was discreet but kept him at arm’s length. If he managed to get any closer than that, she wasn't sure what she would do. Just seeing him had put him too close to her heart. If he touched her in anything other than a casual manner, all the turbulent, painful emotion inside was likely to explode out of her. So far, she had remained calm. She needed to hold onto that with both hands.

“So,” she said after they’d placed their order. “Exactly what are you proposing?”

He leaned over the table, eyes dark with sincerity. Deep, storm-dark. The kind of dark that could drag her in, immobilize her. She swallowed.

“I want a month. A month to be your husband again.”

The statement startled her, but she maintained composure. Calmly, she said, “A month is a long time.”

“It’s barely any time at all. We could have forever together, like we planned in the beginning. A month is nothing.”

The tears were lurking again. She fought them and won. “You want me to come back to New York?”

“No. I’ll stay here.”

“You want to move in with me?” That sounded dangerous. The two of them in her tiny cabin, a chilly Colorado night . . . If he came to her, she wouldn’t be able to tell him no. Part of her heart lurched in anticipation, the other part shrank back in fear.

“Yes,” he said simply.

“Where are you going to sleep?”

“I want to be your husband again, Joely.”

It took her a moment to form words. This was too much for him to ask—far too much. “That’s a bit abrupt after all this time, don’t you think?”

He trailed a finger across the back of her hand, over exactly the right spot. Her skin shivered under his touch. She drew a quick breath. The touch shot straight through her, firing every erogenous nerve in her body. No wonder it had been so hard to leave him. “Maybe,”he said.

She stared at his hand, at the long, graceful fingers as they traced over her skin, and suddenly she remembered everything. The smell in the hollow where his shoulder met his neck. The tickle of his chest hair against her nose in the morning when she buried her head in his chest. The weight of his arms around her, the weight of his body on her. The firm, slim length of his cock sliding into her, deep, solid, so far inside her she felt like they had become one person.

She jerked her hand away and tried to rub off the remaining sensation of his touch. She didn’t want this, didn’t want all this back. “This is a lot to spring on me all at once. I’ll have to think about it.”

A look of sheepish disappointment rose on his face.

“What?” she asked.

“I don’t really have a place to stay tonight.”

She shook her head, amazed. “You just thought you were going to ride into town and get me to agree to this scheme right away, didn’t you? You thought I’d invite you back into my life—into my bed—with open arms?”

“Well—”

“God, you’re arrogant.” Fury surged, burning past the arousal he’d lit in her body. Thank God. The arousal had been leading her down a far too dangerous path.

“Or just hopeful.”

“No, arrogant.” She pressed her lips together, hanging on to her anger like a lifeline. “I know the lady who runs the lodge up the road. I’m sure she can get you a room.”

“If that’s what you want.”

She bristled at his conciliatory tone. “Look, I have a teeny-tiny house. There’s no guest room, and the couch isn’t exactly huge.”

“I don’t mind.”

“You don’t mind now, but you’d mind in the morning when I had to pry you out of it with a crowbar.”

He smiled. She was beginning to hate that smile. It made her warm and mushy and hot and needy all at the same time, and that was something she couldn’t afford to be.

“You don’t want me to stay at the lodge, not if you’re thinking about prying me out of your couch.”

She drew herself tautly upright in her chair. “It’s a very nice lodge. They give you free breakfast with the room.”

“I’m sure it’s a wonderful lodge.”

“Then go there.”

“If that’s what you want me to do.” The smile hadn’t faded, and he looked almost smug. She wanted to slap him.
Instead, she eyed him primly. “I think that would be best under the circumstances.”

“But you’ll think about what I said?”

“Yes, I’ll think about it.”

He nodded, the smugness fading into something that looked disturbingly like relief. “That’s all I ask.”

END EXCERPT